Jedi's Poems, Words I Wanted To Say

Wanted To Be

I lie here broken
Bound unto you
You twist me and poke me
Like I'm a venemous spew
You ask about him
You ask about me
You dally with my friends
I thought you never cared about me
Why these questions, about him?

You become so tired and old
Like a madened smile, no longer
But a frown

I don't see what I've got to do
What to do to prove to you?
Sustain that I'm nothing
Confirm that I'm pathetic
Like you want me to be
How can I show to you, I'm what you wanted me to be?

I wither and wrath
In the un tainted life that I lead
Trying to surpress myself
Make myself bleed
I try harder and harder to be what you want
But tryings not enough
Nothing ever is much,
To you

I lay alone in the dirt, your place you assigned
I wonder and ponder
Why am I doing this for you?
Why do I want to be badly accepted
Acknowledged by your greed
I guess its the adrenaline
The pains like a fuel
Its just a sudden rush for me

I pause as I stand alone in the dark
Wandering how I managed
Before without you in my heart
I carry on my battle in life
Fighting the answers that are pounding within

I begin to attack
Assault myself, as to why I put up with you
The answers remain burried
Unfound in time

As time unfurls
I realise you bewitched me
Poisoned my thoughts and mind
I try to detach myself
But you wont drop me will you?

You still stay and taunt me
Haunt me in my dreams
You try to falsify me
Make me believe I'm nothing without you
I'm nothing anyway, whats the difference?

I watch you tongue tied
Your brain screaming for an answer
I smile and grimace
Like a darkened angel from above
I take out your soul and let it fly free
Now its time for you to feel the burden
Sense the pain like me

Why I put up with you I never knew why
All I gathered was confusion
And to be with you, I wanted to be

Loves to painfull
It glistens in my un tranced eyes
As I watch you slowly, turn in convulse
And Die.


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